What is social emotional learning? And how can parents use it to help reset their child’s mental health?
Last month we wrote about the importance of resetting your child’s summer schedule and goals with a clarion call to prioritize their mental health. Children – all of us, actually – have been through tremendous stressors and uncertainties over the past two years. But in reality there has been a mental health crisis building in children over the past decade or more.
The reasons are varied. Increased social media consumption and comparing themselves in their very realistic and messy 3-D life to a carefully crafted digital 2-D presentation of classmates on Instagram can be confusing for youngsters. Clearly isolation and lack of social connection during the pandemic have contributed. And the stressors of family illness and/or job security are playing a part.
The statistics back this up. From March 2020 to October 2020, mental health–related emergency department visits increased 24% for children ages 5 to 11 and 31% for those ages 12 to 17, compared with 2019 emergency department visits, according to CDC data. These visits were for varied reasons- including eating disorders, anxiety, trauma, and obsessive-compulsive disorders.
But as mentioned above, these issues had been percolating below the surface in children for years. In an article in The New York Times, John T. Walkup, chairman of the psychiatry and behavioral-health department at Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago, said, “The biggest misconception is that Covid makes people mentally ill. From my point of view, Covid unmasked people who have underlying vulnerabilities.” Indeed, those people who had been hanging on by a thread felt that razor thin margin of error falter as the reality of the pandemic hit.
Social Emotional Learning (SEL)
What is the antidote? Enter social emotional learning.
What is social emotional learning? The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) defines it like this: “SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.”
At the heart of SEL, CASEL has identified five competencies that support learning and development of children:
• self-awareness: child understands his or her own strengths and weaknesses and how their behavior affects others.
• self-management: child learns how to regulate their behaviors and emotions.
• social awareness: child understands social norms, can recognize other people’s emotions, and empathize with people from a variety of backgrounds.
• relationship skills: child can foster healthy relations with individuals and in groups.
• making responsible decisions: child learns how to make decisions independently, whether it is a school-based decision or personal matter, while considering social norms and all appropriate consequences – both positive and negative – of the decision.
CASEL’s research has indicated positive academic gains and better emotional health when SEL is part of the curriculum. In particular:
• SEL interventions that address the five core competencies increased students’ academic performance by 11 percentile points, compared to students who did not participate.
• Students participating in SEL programs showed improved classroom behavior, an increased ability to manage stress and depression, and better attitudes about themselves, others, and school.
A study in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science called “Promoting the Social and Emotional Learning of Millions of School Children,” produced the following findings: “Through explicit instruction, social and emotional skills can be taught, modeled, and practiced so that children, adolescents, and adults can handle daily tasks, interactions, and challenges effectively.” These critical skills can be broached and taught at home! Maybe parents and caregivers can even learn something too!
Warning signs your child may be struggling
While every child may have mood swings from time to time – hello teenagers! – there are signs parents can look for that may signal that a larger issue is lurking. According to the National Library of Medicine, parents can look for these:
Physical signs:
• decreased appetite, and or change in eating habits
• Sleep disturbances
• Physical symptoms: headache, stomachache with no illness
Emotional or behavioral signs:
• Anxiety, worry
• New or recurring fears
• Anger outbursts and or crying
• Aggressive or stubborn behavior
• Doesn’t want to participate in school or family activities
If your child is exhibiting any of these warning signs, please contact your child’s pediatrician. If you are interested in locating a mental health professional, the Department of Health and Human Services or SAMHSA has a website.
Teaching SEL at home
Hopefully you are convinced of the importance of teaching and nurturing SEL skills. Not only will they improve your child’s academic performance, they will help build resiliency and problem-solving skills critical to their success as adults.
So how do you teach these critically important skills at home? Thoughtfully and intentionally. In other words, target one of the five competencies listed above, and try some of the activities presented below to help your child nurture their SEL skills.
Self-awareness:
To foster self-awareness in your child, help them identify their emotions and feelings. Guide them to react to their emotions properly by taking deep breaths or engaging in a physical activity such as taking a walk. Further, help your child identify their strengths and weaknesses so that compliments and criticisms can be framed appropriately.
Self-management:
Building self-management can be fun when using games. Games like Jenga require focus and precision to succeed in removing pieces from the tower. Another great game is Don’t Break the Ice, which also requires a steady hand and an element of tempered force. Even the traditional game Simon Says can help children learn to manage their movements and thoughts based on the leader’s commands.
Social awareness:
After having a conversation with another person or even another family member, discuss it with your child. Focus on each person’s body language and tone, which contributes to the civility – or lack there of – in the conversation. Remember to discuss non-verbal cues, which will allow your child the opportunity to learn how these can make other people feel. Perhaps most importantly is to be a good role model for your child. Most kids are like sponges, soaking up how you treat and interact with other people.
Relationship skills:
Forming, developing, and maintaining relationships is critical for your child to succeed in life. Pick a good friend of your child’s and ask your child why his friend is special. Perhaps the friend is supportive or kind or shares common interests. Emphasize the importance of reciprocating those skills with his friends. Just as important point out any unhealthy relationships your child may have. Discuss what the supposed friend does that is “toxic” and share conflict resolution strategies.
Making responsible decisions:
Neuropsychologists allege we make over 35,000 decisions a day. While some are small – which shirt to wear – others are huge – should I cross the street now or wait for the truck to pass – learning how to make responsible decisions is critical for your child’s development. Luckily there is a formula or series of steps you can teach: Identify the problem to be solved; gather relevant information; brainstorm possible solutions; identify possible consequences; make a choice; take action. Model these steps with problems you face so your child can see them in action in real life.
Final thoughts
Parents can use SEL at home to help their child become better equipped to deal with the world in which they live. And their academics will improve too! By acknowledging there is a mental health crisis in our country, parents can start a dialogue with their children and simply ask, “How are you doing?” During those conversations teach them the five core competencies that make up SEL. Perhaps not right away, but eventually they will thank you.
If you believe your child could benefit from SEL strategies and would like more detailed information, please contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain.