What exactly are Executive Functions and soft skills? Here are a definition and eight ways to develop them this summer.

As a parent you may be eating dinner one night, staring at your ten-year-old child, playing with his food, and wonder, “Fifteen years from now, will he be able to stand on his own two feet or will he still be living at home?” You may be surprised to learn that you can accurately predict that!

Baloney, may be your first thought (or something unsuitable for print). How can I know how my child will be doing in 15 years? Impossible!

Hang on there, and bear with us.

The best predictor of future success is not grades in school or even your child’s IQ. It is your child’s ability to learn and successfully incorporate Executive Functions (EF) skills in their life. Coupling the soft skills with the EF skills is a recipe for future success.

Soft skills, also known as Emotional Intelligence or EQ, such as empathy, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, and social communication, are the glue that holds the hard skills in place. Unfortunately, they have have regressed. Reasons for this include stress, significant life changes, and/or lack of consistent social interactions. Hello spending too much time online!

Development regression is when children lose skills that were previously mastered, according to the Raising Children Network. On the other hand, some children are simply not learning these skills critical life skills in the first place. 

While the pandemic may seem to be in the rearview mirror, its ripple effects are still being felt and observed in children. 40% of parents report their children’s social skills and mental health were and still are effected, according to a Gallup News poll. Teacher anecdotal evidence reports an increase in temper tantrums in the classroom, difficulties managing anger in both younger and older students, and sadness. Additionally teachers are reporting student difficulty with attention and focus.

These are exactly the skills your ten-year-old child playing with his food needs to develop in order to put himself in position to succeed as an adult. If not, he will be living with you at home, in the basement, probably still playing with his food.

What exactly are Executive Functions?

Executive Functions refers to “mental processes (executive functioning skills) that help you set and carry out goals. You use these skills to solve problems, make plans and manage emotions,” according to the Cleveland Clinic. The skills include time management, organization, initiation, prioritization, and focus. Your child ought to be using these skills both with their school work and during extracurricular activities.

Unfortunately these skills do not become fully developed until most people are in their mid-20s, meaning children and teenagers are going to struggle with some aspects these skills! Generally, they do not just naturally form over time. Rather, they must be taught directly like any other skill. 

What does a child look like who may struggle with Executive Functions skills? They may have some natural ability to focus for longer periods of time but may have a disaster of a backpack. Or, they may be incredibly organized but rarely turn in their homework on time. Perhaps they come home after school, know that they have several homework assignments to complete, but spend seemingly forever scrolling on their phones. All of these situations reveal EF weaknesses. 

Any of these look familiar to you?

What exactly are soft skills?

According to Washington State University, “soft skills” are abilities, traits, and behaviors that contribute to how effectively you relate to and collaborate with others. Some examples of soft skills are communication, problem-solving, teamwork, and emotional intelligence.” They go on to say that these skills include the ability to self-guide and work alone and manage one’s time, organization, and adaptability. Sounds like some of the EF skills!

The U.S. Department of Labor states that these are the skills modern companies are looking for in potential employees. While difficult to quantify, qualities such as enthusiasm, problem solving, and critical thinking are in demand.

What does this look like in children?

When students enter an office at Engage the Brain for their session, they look the Specialist in the eye and speak with an appropriate tone and volume. When the session ends, they push in the chair and do not leave anything on the floor: pencils, papers, miscellaneous trash. They say thank you or good bye.

At home your child communicates appropriately with you and other family members. They clean up any toys they were playing with and put them away in the correct spot. When disagreements occur, your child works through them, maintaining regulation. 

This is not to say all kids need to be perfect all of the time! Of course not! As mentioned, all of these skills need to be directly taught and modeled. 

How to teach the Executive Functions and Soft Skills

This time of year you may be reading a lot (or seeing headlines in various publications) about the Summer Slide, which is the regression of a student’s academic skills over the summer due to inactivity. It is real. However, we are suggesting that – in addition to reading and math activities – parents ought to zero in, with laser focus, on the EF and soft skills during the summer.

How?

Start a family calendar This could be a physical calendar placed in the kitchen – or other high traffic area in your home – where family members write down what events they have each day. Or, if your family is more digitally oriented and each member has a phone, you could set up a Google calendar and share it with each member, who then enters their responsibilities on the calendar. Dates of camps, doctor’s appointments, tutoring sessions, chores, vacations, could all be possible calendar entries.

Establish a daily routine Yes, summer is a time to slow down from the hectic pace of the school year. However, creating a loose schedule that your family follows each day provides the structure, rhythm, and repetition that children can benefit from. Perhaps there is time each morning for exercise, such as a bike ride or visit to a nearby park. Establish a time for individual pursuits, such as practicing an instrument or dabbling in art. Include a quiet time for reading. While the schedule does not need to be run to military precision, having a general sequence for each day allows your children to practice their EF skills.

Keep each child’s space organized Whether it is their bedroom or play area in a common space in your home, help your child maintain an organized space. In school, your child may have a backpack, desk, and/or locker which they need to keep organized. By requiring them to keep their locations neat and organized, they will be practicing these important skills. If they need help, problem-solve with them, not for them. Ask guiding questions. Do you need anything to make this process easier, such as a shelf or baskets? 

Plan field trips Summer is a wonderful time to explore your city. In partnership with your child, plan an outing to a local museum, an amusement park or state park. It is critical that your child play a part in deciding where to go. Whether they use online resources or a local library, they will be reading, evaluating, and prioritizing on where would be a fun place to visit. Math skills such as estimating the cost of the outing and determining how long the excursion may take are great ways to sneak in extra math practice.

Host game night Boardgames and card games are rich with opportunities to practice EF skills. Planning strategy, regulating their competitive fire, and taxing their working memory are just a few skills your child will be using, depending on which game you play. Whether it is just your immediate family, or your child invites a friend, game nights are fun and effective ways to engage with EF skills.

Allow kids to work out differences It is summer, and temperature and tempers can both boil, especially if your child is neurodivergent, thinking and learning differently.  If/when a hubbub erupts between siblings or friends, allow each to settle down, if necessary, before trying to coach them to an acceptable conclusion. Model strategies like taking turns and both cleaning up items that were played with.

Maintain bedtime and wake-up time  As part of your daily routine, maintain both a bedtime and wake-up time, though each could be adjusted reasonably a little later than during the school year. Establishing and enforcing these times allows your child to practice time management and not allow teens to sleep away half the day! Plus it makes returning to school in the fall a little easier.

Manage screen time Screen time is always a challenge during the summer, especially with children who think and learn differently. Perhaps part of your daily schedule provides 60 minutes for screens, whether that is playing video games, scrolling social media, or watching television. By providing a concrete time amount, your child must prioritize how they will spend their allocated screen time.

Final thoughts

As parents you may understandably be focused on maintaining and/or improving your child’s academics this summer to avoid the dreaded summer slide. In addition to stoking those skills, do your child a future favor (one that will pay dividends when they are adults) and include the EF and soft skills too. Because the research is clear – the best predictor of future success is a child’s ability to learn, practice, and eventually master the EF skills, along with the soft skills. Put another way, there is an African proverb that states, “The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.” Teaching your child the skill of empathy will carry them far in whatever direction they wish to go. And hopefully not playing with their food along the way!

If you have questions about how to teach and develop Executive Functions skills or the sift skills, contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to discover how a Learning Specialist could help teach these critical life skills.