What are the benefits of continuing your child’s learning during the summer? And what are some easy and effective ways to do it?

Parents, you made it! The last day of school came, and all the stress of the school year magically disappeared. No more homework battles. No more telling Tanya to put her tuba in the Toyota. No more complaints from your child about the healthy lunch you planned and prepared. But, now you are faced with two months of unstructured time to fill, all while trying to be budget-conscious about camps and vacations, and most importantly, your own sanity.

Intuitively, you know you should continue your child’s learning over the summer. How do you do that without reigniting all of those school year battles? By following our plan presented below. 

What follows are a few words about the Summer Slide and why it is absolutely real. Then some research on the benefits of summer learning. And finally, some easy ways to promote learning over the summer months.

The summer slide 

According to a study conducted by NWEA, students in grades 3rd through 8th lose about 20 percent of their school year gains in reading and 27 percent of math gains. Beyond looking at formal studies, common sense would suggest any student who does not engage in any academic pursuits – reading, writing, or math – for two straight months will regress or lose some of the gains made during the past school year. If you stop exercising for two entire months, are you going to be in the same shape you were in when you resume working out? Of course not. 

Another way to look at this is by asking educators what they see in their classrooms when students return the following fall. According to a survey conducted by Progress Learning, only 31 percent of teachers report that students retained the material taught the previous school year. Which is why the first month back in school is often spent reviewing last year’s material.

Of course pandemic related learning loss is still a consideration. Many students simply shut down during remote learning and are still catching up to where they ought to be. Studies and statistics vary by state, student age/grade and socioeconomic class, but it is clear a majority of students are still behind due to lingering effects of the pandemic.

However, the summer slide is not inevitable! A study by the research firm Kappan found that 22 percent of students actually made gains during the summer. How? By keeping children active in learning environments.

 5 Benefits of summer learning

Catch up on key skills. Some classes are just more difficult than others for certain students. Summer is a great time to revisit these key concepts and to ensure proficiency before the next school year. Online resources such as Khan Academy can be used.

Learn a new skill. Summer is a wonderful time for your child to explore a topic of their interest. Facilitate their passion by supporting trips to the local library – or book store – to find books or other research materials. Reading is reading, so encourage them to dive deep into this topic.

Makes transition back to school in the fall easier. Students who simply shut down academics over the summer will undoubtedly have a more challenging time returning to school in the fall. Their Executive Functions skill of shifting has been idle for two months, and shifting back into a structured school schedule and environment could be difficult. Conversely, those children who have kept some semblance of a schedule over the summer and continued learning will seamlessly return to school in the fall.

Explore Enrichment opportunities. Some students have passions that simply (and sadly) get ignored during the school year due to lack of time. Summer is a fantastic time of year for your child to dive deep into their interest. For example, if your child is fascinated by pirates, encourage them to learn more. Whether guiding them to your local library or museum, if appropriate, or just assisting with online searches that lead to “rabbit holes” of pirate informational booty, your encouragement is critical to their success.

Strengthen parent-child relations. Let’s be honest – parenting during the school year can be stressful and challenging. Homework battles, projects that creep up – or you learn about – at the last minute, sports practices that have rotating schedules, etc. Sometimes parents lose patience and children, even young ones, can detect the stress. Summer offers an opportunity for you to support your child’s interests in a less demanding way. There are no grades! Rekindle special relationships by focusing on what your child likes to learn about and both enjoy the journey to new knowledge.

7 Ways to foster summer learning

There are an unlimited number of ways to support your child’s summer learning. One caveat: plunking a few worksheets in front of your kid and expecting the summer slide to slip away will not work. This is especially true in math. A Harvard study states that worksheets alone will not stave off learning loss. Rather students must engage in problem-solving and applying the concepts. Below are some suggestions on how to best position your child for a productive summer of learning.

Find a formal summer program. Most towns have a plethora of summer programs. Of course they are not all created equal. One great option is Summer Smarts, presented by Engage the Brain. Summer Smarts is a series of week long academic camps with a particular themed focus, taught by Learning Specialists. Themes range from Greek Gods to Minecraft Adventures to History Mysteries. Camps are offered on a weekly basis so your child can pick the one(s) that interests them.

Volunteer with a local organization. Depending on the age of your child, they may be required to accumulate a certain number of service hours for graduation. Volunteering during the summer is a wonderful way to give back and chip away at the required hours. And, your child will be practicing their Executive Functions skills. For example, time management and planning will be necessary when they receive the schedule of when they are to be at a particular location. If there is any fundraising going on, of course they are now applying the math concepts referred to above.

Cooking. Encourage your child to select a recipe and start cooking. Of course many recipes are loaded with fractions: 1/2 cup of this, 1/4 cup of that, etc. and elapsed time. What time will the peanut butter cookies be done? Most kids will need your support with hot stoves and ovens, so pick a day when you have enough time to properly complete a family favorite recipe.

Create a board game. Many kids have played board games such as Monopoly or Sorry or Candy Land. Encourage them to make their own game. With easy-to-obtain supplies such as construction paper, markers, pens, and or crayons, challenge your kids to develop a game that the whole family can play. Maybe they “borrow” ideas from existing games and add a new twist. 

Join a public library reading challenge. Many public libraries hold reading activities and challenges for school age children during the summer. The Maitland (Florida) library offers one such example. Prizes are awarded by minutes read, which can be tracked on a reading log. There is even a challenge for adults!

Take a virtual tour and or check out museum exhibits. While in-person visits to local museums are usually the best for kids, the rest of the world is out there waiting to be explored virtually. Without leaving the comfort of your home and your child’s favorite chair in the family room, you could explore the Grand Canyon, The Great Barrier Reef, or The National Museum of Natural History.Your destination is only limited by your imagination.

Plant a garden. There are so many great skills and learning opportunities involved in preparing, planting and caring for a garden. If your backyard is not conducive to growing a crop or two, many towns have “community gardens” where residents may use a section to grow items of their choice. This is a summer long – or perhaps longer – activity, so be sure to discuss the commitment necessary for the garden to succeed.

Final thoughts

Like so many things in life, the answer to how your child can have a great summer is balance. No, parents do not need to keep a strict 7-hour school day-like schedule going with hourly lessons written down for child to dutifully complete while you are at work each day. As silly as that sounds, the antithesis of this is also true, meaning you cannot shut down academics altogether for two straight months and expect your child to waltz back into a classroom in August and be ready to go. 

Clearly there is a middle ground that will fend off the Summer Slide and allow your child some flexibility and creativity in how they read, write, work with numbers, and ultimately learn over the summer. Whether your child attends a formal summer program, joins a library reading challenge, or heads out on virtual expeditions, reading texts, writing something down and working with numbers in a more problem-solving capacity is their ticket to a productive and balanced summer.

If your child struggles with engaging in academics over the summer, or you have difficulty creating meaningful activities for child to engage in, contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to discover how a Learning Specialist may be able to work with your child to develop a personal learning plan that promotes all the critical literacy skills necessary for classroom success.

How do you help your child stay motivated at the end of the school year? By following this carefully cultivated list of strategies and techniques.

It is the beginning of May, and in Florida the end of the school year is only about a month away. And the end of the school year can bring mixed emotions to parents: dread because you have to figure out what to do with your child for two months; relief because homework battles and school projects will be placed on pause; pride because your child had a great year; or a weird combination of all these that swirl around simultaneously.

Whatever you are feeling, hopefully we can agree that you want your child to finish this school with motivation and zeal towards learning. How on Earth can you accomplish this, when your child may be halfway checked out and in the throes of spring fever? By following our carefully cultivated checklist!

High priority tasks

Maintain their self-care: This includes eating a proper diet, getting enough exercise – 60 minutes per day of moderate to vigorous exercise, according to the CDC, and getting adequate sleep – 9 to 11 hours, according to The National Sleep Foundation.

Stick to routines:  Psychology Today encourages parents to stick to consistent routines, which build self-confidence and self-control, both of which can waver this time of year. These routines ought to include homework times after school, chores and responsibilities, and consistent bedtimes.

Contact your child’s teacher(s) asking for academic areas to focus on this summer and for next school year. Summer is a great time to address any academic issues due to school being out; your child may be less stressed, not having to worry about classwork and or homework. 

Help your child prioritize end-of-year tasks. If your child has Executive Functions deficiencies, then they will struggle to determine what they need to do and when. Assist them with creating a study schedule for final exams or any long term projects. Breaking down these seemingly large assignments into smaller, more manageable steps will allow your child to complete them and not freeze or avoid the task altogether. One good suggestion is to use a physical calendar and to place test dates, project due dates, spring concerts, etc, on it so all responsibilities are in one place. Keep this in a high-visibility location, such as the kitchen. Refer to it and review it daily.

Use reminder tools such as phone apps, alarms, and/or checklists to remind children about what they should be working on. Understood has some great suggestions for students with ADHD.

Maintain a tidy homework space. As the year whips by, this area can become disorganized with old papers, siblings’ items, snack remnants, etc. Keep the space inviting, clean, and organized.

Refresh their supplies. Sometimes a new binder, a set of pens, and or a mechanical pencil can magically inject a new motivational force in your child. As the school year creeps to a close, school supplies can become ragged, so offer to update the different implements and you may see a new level of enthusiasm for learning from your child.

Set weekly attainable goals – Examples could be to turn in all homework on time for the week or to earn a 90 or higher on a spelling test.

Less obvious but still important tasks

Continue to ask your child questions about school and keep it a priority in your home. He may say there is nothing going on in class the last few weeks, but the teacher will disagree! Often times teachers are previewing next year’s benchmarks and or implementing projects, all certainly important for your child.

Create a reward system – In a perfect world your child would be internally motivated, which can be defined as engaging in an activity because of the inherent satisfaction and enjoyment of doing it. On the other hand, external motivation is defined when an external reward, such as money or praise, is linked to completing the activity. As the school year winds down, even the most motivated kids may need a nudge with an external motivator such as extra electronics time or cash for a grade on a project. You know your child best. Pick something they would be willing to work for.

Employ a study buddy. The saying misery loves company rings true in completing school work. Students who think and learn differently may like having someone to sit with them. This could be a parent, conveniently nearby to answer questions, or a sibling or peer who is completing similar work. 

Help your child make a list of all their successes from this school year. It could be academic- such as learning multiplication facts- or more social- such as making a new friend. This helps build metacognition, which gets them thinking about thinking.

Encourage your child to make their teacher a card with a short thank you message. This helps build gratitude, a shield for mental health.

Set up summer tutoring and/or other therapies. Good practitioners fill up quickly, so plan to connect and book early.

Arrange summer camps and extracurricular activities. Reminding your child that these fun activities are waiting for them can also motivate your child to finish the school year strongly.

Ease anxiety. If your child is anxious about the end of the year, or if next year is a big transition such as going from elementary to middle school or middle school to high school – talk with your child about their fears and concerns. Validate the feelings! Johns Hopkins Medicine recommends visiting the new school to help alleviate some of your child’s angst.

Prop up their strengths. Kids who think and learn differently often have experienced less success in the classroom compared to their neurotypical peers. Train a spotlight on your child’s strengths, whatever they are. If your child is an amazing guitarist, encourage and help them to find outlets for their passion. Do they want lessons? Can they get together with classmates who play an instrument and have a jam session? School and academics are still important, but continue to build up your child’s talents, too.

Final thoughts

Parenting school age kids is difficult and with summer in squinting view it is tempting to take your foot off the proverbial parental gas pedal. Don’t. Continue to implement all of these research-backed strategies, like sticking to routines, encouraging self-care, and maintaining an interest in their assignments and schoolwork.

If your child struggles with motivation and/or Executive Functions skills like planning, prioritizing, and time management, contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to discover how an Executive Functions coach could help your child develop a skillset to tackle these end-of-the-year challenges.

Why do schools still give standardized tests? What are the types of tests given? And what should parents do once they receive the results?

It is standardized test season – though it seems like they are given year round now – and time for the education experts to announce their best test-named acronyms, such as MAP, SAT, and BEST.  

Some of our students’ favorite education acronyms over the years have included: 

SCHOOL – Sucking Children’s Happiness Out Of Life 

MATH – Mental Abuse to Humans 

and 

HOMEWORK – Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge

But seriously, even the phrase standardized test can conjure up different emotions. So before we go any further, let’s agree on a description. According to Forbes, “Standardized tests are used to set national and state policy for education reform, inform local decision-making, identify accountability measures, and make decisions regarding resource allocation.”

Types of standardized tests

There are two main types of standardized tests: criterion and norm-referenced. 

Criterion-based testing is essentially the student versus the content. In theory every student taking the test could earn a high score or demonstrate mastery. A state driver’s license exam or end of school year state education tests given to students would be examples.

Norm-referenced testing is comparative and ranks students against each other. It is the test taker versus the test taker sitting next to them. Only 1% of students can score in the 99 percentile. The college application exams SAT and ACT would be popular examples.

Narrowing our focus more locally to Florida, public school students in the Sunshine State take several criterion-based standardized tests. One is called the FAST:

Florida Assessment of Student Thinking (FAST) 

• A standardized test in English Language Arts (ELA) and Mathematics for grades VPK–10
• Administered three times per year to monitor student progress
• Aligned with the Benchmarks for Excellent Student Thinking (B.E.S.T.) Standards

Another set of tests for Floridian students are the EOCs or End-of-Course assessments:

• Computer-based assessments that measure student performance in specific courses
• Include assessments in Algebra 1, Algebra 2, and Geometry

According to the Florida Department of Education:

“The EOC assessments are designed to measure student achievement of the specified standards for middle and high-school level courses in Mathematics (Algebra 1, Geometry), Science (Biology 1), and Social Studies (Civics and U.S. History).”

As one could imagine, this is a lot of data collection and assessment of students. Is it all necessary?

Why give standardized tests?

Grades are not always an accurate reflection of student performance. Ed Week reports that in the period from 2018 to 2021 standardized test scores on the ACT dropped while over the same time frame student GPA increased. Why? Grading methodology varies from teacher to teacher and grades themselves tend to include a “mix of non-academic factors, such as student behavior, class participation, and extra credit,” according to the Ed Week article. It goes on to state that grade inflation has continued since the pandemic.

Here are some common arguments for and against their use:

Arguments for standardized test use:

• Universal standard that all students are assessed against the same criteria
• Accountability and data collection
• Identifying trends over time
• Identifying areas for improvement in either curriculum materials, teaching strategies, or both

Arguments against their use:

• Narrows the curriculum – tests do not cover everything
• Inaccurate measure of student learning – some students simply do not test well
• Stress and anxiety on both the students and teachers
• Focus on test preparation, which can take massive amounts of instructional time

Of course we would be remiss if we did not mention the Opt-Out movement, which gained the most momentum in the mid-2010s and still has support. Reasons a parent may opt their child out of standardized testing include concern over the stress it places on the student and the heavy emphasis placed on these single results to assess a child. 

What to do once parents receive their child’s standardized test score

Once the results arrive from a standardized test there several steps a parent should take. 

First, talk with your child’s teacher to understand their context and what the scores actually mean. Do the test results reflect the grades your child has been earning this school year? In other words, if your child scores well on the test and they have been receiving As and Bs, it would seem the results match up. However, if your child has been receiving As and Bs and they do poorly on the test, then follow up questions are needed. The teacher ought to be able to supply some of the information.

Next, understand the purpose of the test. Was it to track progress? Identify areas for intervention? To inform instruction? Of course the teacher ought be able to provide these answers, too.

Finally, look for patterns in your child’s score over time. Has your child always struggled on standardized tests? Is there a sudden worsening of performance? 

10 Essential life skills that standardized tests do not assess

Whether your child is a top test taker or struggles to perform on assessments, there are many critically important life skills that are not assessed on standardized tests. Engage the Brain encourages parents to continuously teach and promote these skills:

• Empathy – how your child can relate to others from their point of view
• Positive body language: sit up, make eye contact, nod to signal understanding…
• How to handle money and understand the value of it.
• Arrive on time – to school, a job, a sports practice, etc.
• How to handle stress and anxiety
• Healthy habits and self-care: diet, sleep and exercise
• How to do a load of laundry properly
• How and when to self-advocate and or communicate – face to face, email, text, phone call.
• Being coachable and adopting a growth mindset
• Possessing a positive attitude and cultivating optimism

Final thoughts

Standardized tests are a fact of life for most K-12 students. Knowing the format and purpose of the exam is important for parents to begin to truly understand the results. Whether the test is a mid-year check, an end of year cumulative assessment, or college entrance exam, knowing the function of the test will help place the results in better context. And of course your child’s teacher ought to be able to provide any necessary information about the standardized tests administered by them in their classroom. And remember: the most important skills are not assessed on standardized tests!

If your child struggles with standardized test taking – or even taking tests in general – contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to discover how a Learning Specialist could help your child adopt critical thinking skills and test taking strategies that could help them improve on their assessment performance.

Why Failure is the Best Teacher

Children and students often view failure as something to be feared. However, failure is not the end of the road—it is a stepping stone to success. At Engage the Brain, we believe that failure is learning, and when students embrace failure, they unlock their true potential.

In this article, we will explore why failure is good for children, how setbacks create opportunities for growth, and ways to cultivate a positive mindset toward mistakes. We’ll also share expert insights and practical strategies for students to turn failure into a powerful learning experience.

The Science Behind Learning from Failure

Understanding the Growth Mindset

Dr. Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist, introduced the concept of a growth mindset, where intelligence and abilities are not fixed but develop through effort and perseverance. Children with a growth mindset see failure as an opportunity to learn rather than a sign of incompetence.

How the Brain Learns from Mistakes

Research shows that when students make mistakes, their brains form new neural connections, strengthening cognitive abilities. This means that failure rewires the brain for better learning outcomes.

Why Failure is Good for Students

1. Encourages Resilience

Failure teaches children to bounce back from challenges. Instead of giving up, they develop perseverance, which is essential for academic and life success.

2. Builds Problem-Solving Skills

When students encounter setbacks, they must analyze what went wrong and find new solutions. This enhances their critical thinking and adaptability.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation

Some of the greatest inventors and scientists—like Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein—failed multiple times before achieving breakthroughs. Failure pushes students to think outside the box and explore different approaches.

4. Prepares Students for Real-World Challenges

Life is full of obstacles, and learning to handle failure early prepares children for future career and personal challenges. Resilient students are more likely to succeed in competitive environments.

Embracing Failure: Strategies for Students

1. Reframe Failure as a Learning Opportunity

Instead of seeing failure as defeat, students should ask, “What can I learn from this experience?” Encouraging reflection helps them move forward with a better strategy.

2. Develop a Positive Internal Dialogue

Negative self-talk (e.g., “I’m not smart enough”) can hinder growth. Instead, students should practice positive affirmations, like “I am learning and improving.”

3. Set Realistic Goals and Celebrate Progress

Small wins build confidence. By setting achievable milestones, students can track their progress and stay motivated.

4. Learn from Role Models

Many successful individuals faced failure before reaching success. Parents and educators can share stories of famous figures who turned setbacks into achievements.

5. Encourage a Supportive Learning Environment

Parents, teachers, and tutors should foster an environment where mistakes are seen as part of the learning process. A nurturing atmosphere allows students to take risks without fear of judgment.

Common Concerns About Failure

Does Failure Lower Self-Esteem?

Failure can be discouraging, but only if it is not framed positively. When students receive constructive feedback and encouragement, they build resilience instead of self-doubt.

How Can Parents Help Children Handle Failure?

Parents should model a healthy attitude toward failure. Instead of criticizing mistakes, they should ask their children, “What did you learn from this?” and support them in trying again.

Key Takeaways: Turning Setbacks into Success

• Failure is learning—mistakes help students develop new skills and knowledge.
• A growth mindset enables children to embrace challenges and improve through effort.
• Resilience, problem-solving, and creativity all stem from overcoming failures.
• Supportive parents, teachers, and tutors play a crucial role in shaping a child’s perception of failure.
• Every setback is an opportunity to learn, adapt, and grow.

For more insights on helping your child succeed through failure, check out our previous article: Give Your Child the Gift of Failure.

Final Thoughts

At Engage the Brain, we help students develop confidence and learning strategies to turn failures into successes. If your child struggles with setbacks, our expert tutors can provide the guidance they need. Contact us today to learn more about our personalized tutoring programs and how we can help your child thrive!

*Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset Research

Social media sites have changed the rules for minors. What does the law say? And what are the benefits and dangers of social media to kids?

The words social media conjure up a variety of thoughts and feelings depending on who is asked. On the positive end, some may say social media allows them to stay connected with family and friends who live far away and participate in online communities not available near by. On the negative end, others may share tales of critical and hurtful comments or encountering objectionable content. Wherever you stand on social media and its place in society, children live a different existence online, and some legal changes that went into effect recently may alter young people’s access to and use of social media sites.

First, let’s agree on what social media is. 

According to Investopedia, social media refers to a variety of technologies that facilitate the sharing of ideas and information among their users. The sites typically feature user-generated content that lends itself to engagement via likes, shares, comments, and discussion. Some popular social media sites include Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, TikTok and Youtube. (More on those later.)

In the state of Florida, as of January 1st, 2025, CBS News reports the minimum age to create an account is now 16. However, 15 year olds may either keep or start one with parental or guardian permission. Additionally, the law requires the sites to essentially terminate the accounts of existing minors. There are lawsuits currently filed that are challenging the law’s constitutionality. 

Of course kids can lie and set their birthdate on the log-in site as “16,” but then when their reported birthday turns 18 the companies are free to sell their data. As someone said, data mining is the new oil.

What follows is an exploration of social media habits of kids, some of the potential dangers and benefits kids face while on the sites, and finally, some popular sites many children spend time on.

Amount of time kids spend on social media

The numbers, frankly, are frightening! According to a Gallup survey, time spent on social media sites breaks down like this: 

4.1 hours per day for 13-year-olds and 5.8 hours per day for 17-year-olds. Girls tend to spend an hour more per day than boys on social media. Youtube and TikTok are the most popular sites along with Instagram. 

These are averages, meaning some kids are spending much higher amounts of time on these sites than these numbers!

Do the math for a high school student: 7 hours in school + 8 hours (allegedly) sleeping + 6 hours on social media = 21 hours. That leaves 3 hours for homework, chores, part-time job, sports or other extracurricular activities. A huge complication is 31% of time spent on social media stems from what the researchers describe as “self-control problems.” Think of the Executive Function skill of emotion regulation! Many kids simply are failing at controlling their time on these sites.

Kids need guidance and coaching using the Internet and learning how to be good digital citizens. Common Sense Media reports: “If a caregiver is involved in a teen’s digital life, preps them for how to handle negative online situations, talks about protecting privacy and being kind, it can go a long way toward a more positive social media experience.”

Dangers of social media for kids

One cannot overstate the potential danger that exists in the online world. Seemingly all of the world’s children have retreated in to this realm, yet there is barely any oversight or protections built in. The social media media and tech companies are attempting to keep people online as long as possible through intricate algorithms. 

For children in particular, some dangers include:

Inappropriate content such as nudity, self-harm, and violence.

Cyberbullying, whichcan run rampant with no real enforcement or punishment. People are emboldened to write aggressive and hurtful things they may never utter in face-to-face situations.

Poor mental health such as depression and anxiety have been linked to excessive – more than 3 hours per day – social media use in teens. Paradoxically, the sites purport to connect and create community, but teens report loneliness as another negative side effect.

Risky behavior where kids may be tempted to send explicit texts, photos or videos thinking they are private.

Exposing their location if privacy settings are not correctly set, a child’s physical location can be found by individuals with bad intentions.

Positives of social media participation

Of course like most cases, there are two sides to each story. When used properly social media certainly can offer some benefits to children. The National Institutes for Health (NIH) states the positives can include:

Community Sites can provide positive community and connection with others who share identities, abilities, and interests, especially those traditionally marginalized groups.

Access to information Provides an entry to learning about topics of interest and a vast amount of information about those issues.

Self-expression Kids can post thoughts, art, videos to share with their community of friends.

Form and maintain social connections While it is not always possible for friends to spend time together, these sites provide the means to maintain friendships and updates.

Popular social media sites by age group 

Some parents may be well-versed on social media. For those that are not, here is a thumbnail sketch of some of the popular sites by age group:

Elementary age students

Zigazoo bills itself as the largest social media site for kids. It features moderation by humans – as opposed to an algorithm, positive and empowering content and a mission to provide youth with a safe and positive community.

Kinzoo Messenger is an app designed “for connection, creativity, and curiosity.” They purport to design the platform for connection, not to hook or keep kids on the app for extended periods of time.

Playkids + is focused on holistic development of kids. The platform promotes three areas of learning: interpersonal, where kids focus on respect and interacting in an appropriate manner; intrapersonal, in which kids learn about themselves, their feelings and emotions; and cognitive, where children learn how the world works.

Middle school age students

Girl2Girl Wall is a starter social media app for tween and teen girls ages 8-16. Like some of the other recommended apps the user-generated content is moderated by a human being. Content and conversations tend to revolve around young girl interests such as boys, make up, and cliques.

Lego Life is designed for Lego lovers, where they can share their creations and discover others’ designs. Lego offers themed challenges and contests with prizes! And like the others on here it is moderated.

Tik Tok for Kids is from the same popular app but is designed for kids 13 and under. Among some of the safety features is TikTok allegedly limits the amount of information gathered from these users. Of course it features videos of everything under the sun!

High school age students

Instagram is one of the more popular social media sites for teens and adults. Users can share photos and videos with their network, which others can like and or comment on. Content creators have access to editing tools such as filters and stickers to add creativity to their posts.

X (formerly Twitter) is a wildly popular site for people to share bite-sized thoughts, known as tweets, pictures, and videos. Like these other sites users can follow other members, like and comment on the posts. While there is monitoring by X, this is an adult site with language and videos featuring mature subjects. There are no parental controls, but there are privacy and safety settings that can help manage younger users’ feeds.

Tik Tok features short videos that people can share, comment on, and like. The app’s algorithm analyzes the users engagement and develops a personalized feed. Humor, dancing, and even educational content is featured.

Youtube is wildly popular among all age groups, which features a wide range of content from instructional videos to musical performances to comedy skits to television shows that are user created. 

Final thoughts

Social media is a relatively new construct that both kids and adults have taken to. At their best they offer connection, community, support, validation, and an outlet for expression. At their worst they hook people for hours, torpedo mental health, and allow some of the Internets nastiest residents to lurk. Governments have begun to address some concerns for children and these sites by limiting the age of access. Time will tell whether these age-based interventions will work.

The numbers don’t lie – kids are spending an enormous amount of time scrolling through the sites. Therefore, parents need a healthy understanding of how these site work, and it is critical parents and guardians guide children in best practices using social media sites. If your child struggles with self-control and spends hours on social media sites and or surfing the Internet, contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to learn how an Executive Functions coach could help guide your child to make better choices with time management and control their emotion regulation.

Why should parents implement downtime in their child’s afternoon? Because research states they need it for their mental health and time to process new information.

Parents, looking for New Year’s resolutions for your child? Perhaps ask them to lay off the social media apps? Or suggest they get involved in an after school activity? How about they actually complete their chore after the first time you ask them to do it?! While all of these may lower your blood pressure and potentially be good for your child, may we suggest a simple resolution that is ironically difficult to pull off? Have them resolve to do nothing. 

That’s right… have them arrive home from school and do nothing! There is power in downtime, and research backs this up.

Why children should have downtime

First, what exactly is downtime? It is defined as a period of time for a person to relax, decompress, and recharge. There is neither a goal nor adult directed supervision or direction. 

Kids are under more pressure than ever. Between the rigorous requirements at school, managing the drama and intricacies of social life, and any extracurricular activities that they may participate in, the need for downtime is critical. Throw in shortened recess, increased homework (by well-meaning teachers), and schools still trying to make up for learning loss from the pandemic, and one can see the desire for a child to come home and just want to do nothing.

Because of all these assorted pressures, depression and anxiety continue to be concerns with children. According to the National Institutes of Health, nearly 20% of children and young people ages 3-17 in the United States have a mental, emotional, developmental, or behavioral disorder. What is driving these sad statistics? Many things, including: academic pressures, social concerns, body image, family issues, and future plans.

How do parents combat this? One tool to place in your parental toolbox ought to be demanding nothing. Or rather requiring your child to do nothing, for a period of time after school.

Breaks from structured activities reduce stress and recharge cognitive abilities. Paradoxically, it can increase productivity. According to Henry Ford Health, downtime boosts learning by providing time to process, consolidate and store information. Kids are bombarded with new information every day. They need time to process and catalog all this data.

Additionally, unstructured play allows kids to develop their imaginations and creativity. “Studies show kids that have regular downtime are more creative, focused, energized, independent, can self-soothe and solve problems in innovative ways,”  according to Dr. Hlavaty from Akron Children’s Hospital. What parent doesn’t want that for their child?

This does not mean there is no homework time or chores responsibility. It simply means built into your child’s after school routine is time for unwinding and decompression.

Suggestions for implementing downtime

Hopefully, you are convinced your child needs some downtime when they arrive home in the afternoon from school. What could that look like? Akron Children’s Hospital suggests 20 minutes of downtime for elementary age kids, 30 minutes for middle school, and up to an hour for high school students. Of course you know your child best and what they can reasonably handle, so treat these times as gentle suggestions.

Downtime suggestions include:

• Going outside and playing in the yard or nearby park

• Playing with blocks or Legos

• Creating with Play Dough

• Completing a jigsaw puzzle

• Coloring or drawing

• Journaling – Gratitude- The Life Blog has some great writing prompts 

• Enjoying music

• Chatting with family members

Please notice none of these suggestions include doom-scrolling through social media apps. That is certainly not downtime! While the above list is not exhaustive, the idea is simply to disconnect and recharge. Remember: According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, kids ages 8-12 spend 4-6 hours per day on devices. Teens can spend up to 9 hours per day! Kids need time away from screens, even if they are just playing a fun video game.

Final thoughts

New Year’s resolutions are notoriously challenging to keep. So this year we suggest you challenge your child to resolve to do nothing when they arrive home from school. Research backs up the concept of allowing your child to simply sit for a period of time, with no goal other than to relax and recharge. This provides the time for new concepts to be reflected on and filed away in the correct drawer in their brain. Paradoxically it will make your child more productive!

If your child struggles with after school routines or you are having a difficult time implementing this critical concept of downtime in your child’s schedule, please contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to discover how an Executive Functions coach could help you and your child develop time management and prioritizing skills that will ensure downtime becomes a daily part of your child’s afternoon schedule.

Not sure what to get your child this Christmas? Give them the gift of failure. Research really backs this up.

This holiday season, we suggest you wrap up a new approach to parenting and give the gift of failure to your child. Why on earth would a parent do that?! A popular saying states that calm seas make poor sailors. That same sentiment could be extended to parenting, in that parents who refuse to allow their child to fail will never develop the proper skill set to handle adversity, when it inevitably arrives in the child’s life.

Parents, take a hard look in the mirror and reflect on your parenting style. Do you question teachers when your child receives/earns a low grade on a test or assignment? Do you help too much or even complete homework assignments? How about other areas of your child’s life? Most importantly, what message are you sending to your child? Is it unconditional love, or something more nefarious?

Why allowing failure is okay and actually encouraged

A Child Mind Institute study found that kids who were shielded from failure or were taught it is not acceptable were more likely to develop depression and anxiety later in life. Without realizing it, you are communicating a sense of hopelessness, that you cannot do this. 

Some parents adopt the mindset of tomorrow I will step back and let my child do _______. But tomorrow arrives and they still overprotect and bulldoze real and imagined obstacles. This ultimately leads to the psychiatric term enmeshment, which defines as a relationship dynamic where people’s personal boundaries are unclear, leading to a reduced sense of self and autonomy, according to New Haven Healing Families. This, unfortunately, yields unhappy parents and “failure-to-launch” kids who move back in with their parents after college when rough seas churn.

Many parents wrongly – but understandably – believe that a child’s failure is a reflection of themselves and their parenting ability. This has become increasingly difficult due, in part, to social media, with some parents posting ideal versions of their children happily accepting their scholarship offer from Harvard. Nobody posts on Instagram the F their 3rd grader received on the Friday spelling test! 

Remember that the word Fail = First attempt in learning.

What failure teaches

Thomas Edison famously failed 10,000 times to create a working light bulb. What if he gave up? I would be typing this by candlelight, but I digress! Seriously, failure teaches kids so much, including how to:

• Develop resiliency This is a skill that can be learned, a muscle that can be developed. Anecdotally, Engage the Brain sees many students who simply give up when a task becomes challenging. These students are “wounded learners,” and need opportunities to develop resiliency.

• Create self-efficacy Simply put this means developing a sense of competency, that a child believes he can complete a task. A child needs chances to demonstrate that he can successfully write a paragraph or change a bicycle tire. Out of failure comes creativity and a determination to try again.

• Learn to self-soothe and self-regulate When confronted with frustration and stress, some children melt down, especially those kids with thinking and learning differences. Children must be given the opportunities to experience disappointment and then coached and supported. Perhaps a breathing technique can be introduced or a brisk walk suggested to allow time to cool off.

• First hand experience There is no substitute for hands-on experience, no matter what the task. A child that has tried something and failed is light years ahead of the kid that has been sheltered and had everything handed to her. 

• Develop a growth mindset Adopting this attitude allows a person to grow and improve with effort and intention. A child with a growth mindset believes they control their ability to succeed through hard work and dedication.

What to do when your child fails

In the Time Magazine article How I Learned to Let My Kid Fail, it puts forth two important conditions. Failing is only productive when two things are true: first, the person who fails actually learns something from it and is thus motivated to try again, and second, the failure doesn’t permanently close future doors. With these two factors front and center, how can a parent best help their child deal with failure?

First, kids need time to reflect and receive feedback. The job of the parent is to offer support, not solutions. Use questions to guide your child to reflect on the failure. What did you learn from this? What went right? What went wrong? What can you try differently? 

A University of Virginia study found that sharing examples of failure helps kids understand it is a natural part of every day human actions. It actually strengthens their connection to their community and offered a sense of belonging. So offer examples of how you have failed and – equally important – how you responded to it.

Introduce the RAIN technique. Big Life Journal suggests using this acronym to help your child process failure – and the big emotions associated with it – by connecting mindfulness to resilience.

R – Recognize what is happening – What is going on? How do I feel?

A – Allow life to happen as it is – Let the thoughts and feelings hang even if they are uncomfortable.

I – Investigate with kindness – Why do I feel this way? Is this really true?

N – Non-identification – I am having this thought but I am not this emotion.

Finally, kids need opportunities to practice failing with low stakes activities. Board games and competitive sports are good places for this. Even after failing in a “low stakes” event, guide your child using questioning to help them develop this essential skillset.

Final thoughts

Many parents adopt a “failure-avoiding” parenting style to protect their child’s self-esteem. However, though this comes from a place of love and concern, it actually does way more harm than good. In the short term and long term. As the Children’s Health Council states, “ The older you are the first time you “fall,” the longer the drop and the harder the landing.” 

Help your child develop the life skills of how to handle failure. By learning how to cultivate resiliency, self-sooth, and develop a growth mind set, you are gifting your child a present they will never want to return. And it will be life altering! Because when they do fall, it will not be as far and the landing will be way softer.

If your child struggles with dealing appropriately with failure, please contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to discover how an Executive Functions coach can help your child develop these essential life skills.

What are the health benefits of establishing a gratitude practice? Do the benefits extend to children? And what are Engage the Brain students grateful for?

As the calendar flips to November, and the obligatory photos of pumpkins and Norman Rockwell-like Thanksgiving feasts pop up on Instagram and other social media sites, remember to sprinkle a heavy dose of gratitude into your daily thoughts.

Engage the Brain is grateful for all the students who elect to come to us to receive services ranging from Executive Functions coaching and Orton-Gillingham instruction for dyslexia to Speech Language Therapy and multi-sensory math instruction.

We might be onto something with sharing our gratitude.

Because the research is clear. Establishing and maintaining a gratitude practice is good for your health. UCLA Health states that benefits of a formal gratitude practice include reduced depression, anxiety and stress; a gratitude practice also supports heart health.

Positive Psychology chimes in and shares that the benefits of gratitude include more satisfaction with life, being less materialistic, enjoying better sleep, and exhibiting greater resiliency. All these benefits by simply honing in on what you are grateful for.

Gratitude in children

But what about gratitude in children? Do all these amazing benefits extend to the younger members of society? 

Yes, they do!

However, Michigan Medicine at the University of Michigan states that kids do not naturally acquire gratitude; it must be nurtured in age-appropriate ways.

A good starting point is to encourage children to notice the difference between tangible acts, such as receiving a gift, and intangible acts, such as spending time. Help your kids learn to recognize both and to be grateful for each.

It is also critical to note that gratitude is more than just saying thank you. The American Psychological Association suggests asking questions of your kids when an opportunity presents itself to be grateful. “How do you feel when you receive the gift?” Build an awareness of the sensations and feelings.

Children’s Hospital of Orange County states that benefits of gratitude for kids can balance out those challenging emotions that many teenagers face. It may also start a chain of kindness, where one person does something nice for you, then you are more likely to want to pay it forward with another act of kindness.

And of course, it is important to model gratitude. According to a study, grateful parents have grateful kids. Gratitude also can increase social connections, another marker of good mental health. ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America) shared a study that found teens made better and more meaningful connections on social media when practicing gratitude. And, it did not increase their online usage.

Finally, the Raising Grateful Children Project at UNC Chapel Hill has shared that gratitude has four key parts:

1. Noticing: Recognizing the things you have to be grateful for.
2. Thinking: Thinking about why you’ve been given those things.
3. Feeling: The emotions you experience due to the things you’ve been given.
4. Doing: The way you express appreciation.

Piggybacking off of what Michigan Medicine suggests about nurturing gratitude in kids, parents can ask questions to foster each of these four elements. For example, What do you have in your life to be grateful for? (noticing) What do you think about this gift? (thinking) How did you feel receiving this gift? (feeling) Is there a way to show how you feel about this present? (doing)

Engage the Brain students express their gratitude

Engage the Brain Learning Specialists from the different academic areas we serve asked students what they were grateful for. Specialists are trained in Orton-Gillingham (the gold standard for dyslexia instruction), Speech Language Pathology, Executive Functions Coaching, Multi-sensory math, written expression, and reading comprehension.

Here is a sampling of the students’ replies:

“I am grateful to come to Engage the Brain because it is a lot of fun.  It is better than doing my work at home.”  L.P.

“Engage the Brain is fun.  I appreciate the help with math.  Everyone is so nice here.  I feel happy to come to Engage the Brain.”  M.V.

“I am grateful for Ms. Sabrina (who teaches Orton-Gillingham) because she is creative and really kind.” -Taylor H

“Finally! Someone understands me, and it’s not my fault.” 7 year-old student upon being tested for and diagnosed with dyslexia at Engage the Brain.

“I’m thankful for being at the school with all my friends, and I love learning here.” Aubrey, a student in the North Park Learning Group, a hybrid homeschool program.

“I like learning new things, new ways to help me write and do school work.” Middle school student.

“I like that learning is fun, and I like the trampoline.” 8 year-old student.

These students are well on their way to reaping all the wonderful benefits that come with practicing gratitude.

Final thoughts

Gratitude seems synonymous with November. But the plethora of health benefits associated with a daily gratitude practice ought to make it a year-round focus. From reduced stress and better sleep to greater satisfaction with life and more resiliency, these advantages extend to both adults and children alike. However, parents need to guide and nurture kids to develop a meaningful sense of gratitude. Like any other skill you want your child to master, explicitly teach your child how to focus on the key parts of gratitude, such as thinking about being grateful and expressing gratitude in tangible – and intangible – ways.

Engage the Brain encourages all of our families to establish a gratitude practice and to continue with it 12 months a year. 

What are the homework basics? And how to employ them to set your child up for after school and homework success.

Here we are in October, and school has been plodding along for about two months. For many families with school-age children, after-school time can become the witching hour. As homework emerges from a backpack or populates as (evil) pixels on a laptop screen, the potential for tears, meltdowns, denials of its very existence, and outright refusals can emerge. If your child is neurodivergent – ADHD, dyslexic, or Autistic, for example – the chances for these conniving conundrums increases exponentially.

What are parents to do? Pass the stress and inevitable power struggles onto a nanny or older sibling? Tempting! But not the best solution for you, the nanny, or most importantly, your child.

Unfortunately, homework is a reality that will continue to haunt you and your child unless you address the problem. Fortunately, there are strategies and techniques that a parent can implement to help their child ease the transition home from school and into a productive, smooth, and efficient homework mode.

Get the homework basics right

First, make sure you are getting the fundamentals correct. These include:

Meet the teacher(s):  Attend Meet the Teacher events and any Open House events the school holds. Often during these meetings the teacher(s) will outline the homework expectations for the class, which may include time and frequency estimates. 

Request (demand) that your child use a homework planner. This allows them to practice those critical executive functions skills, including organization, time management, and planning.

Create a homework friendly area in your house: The location ought to be free of distractions such as a television and not be in a high traffic area like the kitchen. It should feature adequate lighting, a table or desk, and comfortable chair.

Develop a routine: A daily routine might feature getting home, enjoying a snack, then heading to the homework area to complete homework.

Establish break times: Depending on your child’s needs, they may need a break every 15 to 30  minutes, especially those kids who think and learn differently. Make sure your child knows when the breaks are by using a timer. 

Help manage time: The younger the student the more assistance they will need with this. Assist them with estimating how long assignments might take and creating those important breaks.

Build metacognitive skills: These skills are simply thinking about thinking. You could ask, “Which assignment is easy? Which is hard? What order should you do the assignments?” 

Watch your words: Be careful of what you say aloud within hearing distance of your child.  Phrases like “Homework is worthless anyways,” or “I never did a minute of homework,” are not helpful. Kids are listening!

Offer targeted praise for their effort: “You are so smart, you will figure this out,” is not helpful. Rather say, “I like how you tried two different ways to solve that math problem.”

Know the types and purposes of homework

According to Mind Research Institute  there are four types of homework a teacher may assign:

Practice, where child is literally practicing a skill learned in class. This is the most common.

Preparation, during which a child is previewing material that has not been taught yet in the classroom; more commonly used in middle or high school.

Extension where a child is asked to apply skills they have learned in a creative way such as project, often assigned and completed over time.

Integration homework is usually tasked with preparing a project such a science fair.

Encouraging your child to reflect on the type of assignment can help them understand how this homework assignment fits into the overall unit of study.

Know your child’s homework personality

Even if you get all the basics outlined above correct, your child could still struggle with homework.

Today’s Parent lists five common homework personalities. Does one of these sound like your child??

The Procrastinator – waits until the last minute and may underestimate the amount of time it would take to complete the assignment.

The Perfectionist – every last detail must be perfect and just so.

The Speed Demon – simply gets the work done as quickly as possible, typically with no care about accuracy or neatness.

The Rebel – may refuse to complete an assignment because it has no value to his life (this sounds eerily like this writer as a school age child).

The Forgetter – honestly has no idea that an assignment is due.

What to do if you child continues to struggle with homework 

Once you have defined your child’s homework personality, here are some strategies to tap into:

Encourage your child to speak with the teacher If they are having a difficult time on a homework assignment – chances are they are not alone. Build those important self-advocating skills.

Watch your anxiety  Studies have found that parents’ anxiety about school work can affect their kids’s attitude and anxiety towards the same subject. So, be mindful of your approach while trying to help. Kids will pick up on your anxiety!

Your presence can be a present Just being nearby while they complete homework can send a signal that you are available and offer good company.

Start a conversation Try to determine what the issue is. Is it not understanding the material? Is it lack of focus and or attention span? 

Share with the teacher that your child is struggling with homework Contact the teacher, especially if it takes longer than it should. Perhaps informal accommodations can be made for fewer problems, or your child may need a 504 plan.

Create an incentive plan According to Child Mind Institute there are two kinds of reward plans: a simple plan such as reminding your child they can watch a favorite show when homework is done, or an elaborate plan such as earning points through the week that add up to rewards. Could your child benefit from an incentive plan?

Conceal and conquer Parenting Chaos recommends using two pieces of paper to cover up a homework paper, revealing only the problem to be worked on. This eliminates your child from glaring at an entire page of problems and becoming overwhelmed. Once that problem is completed, move the papers to reveal only the next problem. 

Get support If your child is having trouble with a particular subject or is experiencing executive functions issues, employ a tutor or learning specialist who is trained to help. As many parents know, the older your student – hello teenagers! – the more challenging it can become to offer parental assistance.

Final thoughts

Homework battles are common and exhausting. However, by getting the homework basics right, such as establishing an after school routine, setting up a homework location, and knowing the teacher’s expectations, you are setting your child up for success. If battles continue, diagnose your child’s homework personality type and employ strategies tailored to their needs. And finally, know when to admit you need help and call a tutor or Learning Specialist, who is trained in working with students with diverse learning needs.

If your child struggles with homework and or establishing an afterschool routine, contact Jennifer Disch at Engage the Brain to discover how a Learning Specialist could help with both content needs and executive functions challenges.